When broken... go see your hairdresser

My sweet Sofia´s...

Never, ever, ever... wait around for someone to mend your heart.
Your heart and soul are your responsibility - don´t leave your happiness in someone else´s hands.
It doesn´t mean that there won´t be a friend that will listen, bring a smile to your face and make you forget the sadness for a little while.
But sadness can often be deep - it can seep into your soul like a virus and refuse to let you go.

Shake it off.
It´s okay to sit on your pity potty for a while but get to the point where you get up and flush down whatever is hurting you.
Move on.
It really is that simple.

Call your hairdresser - get a cut and your hair done, you´ll be surprised at the soul renovation a woman goes through when she walks out of a salon.
If you feel empowered, the confidence will take over the sadness in your heart and you´ll be whole again.
The same goes for getting your nails done, a massage, or even buying a new item of clothing.
Do something for you - something that empowers you and gives you a starting point to turning the gloom around.
If this fails, go to your underwear draw and pick out your sexiest underwear.
The world won´t see it, but you´ll know what you´re wearing underneath.
It will boost your confidence.

Put your make up on.
Consider it war paint to face another day.

Smile!
Even if it you´re not feeling it.
It doesn´t matter if other people see through the curve of your lips - you owe them no justification.
Your smile is not for them - it´s for you.
When you smile, you attract good vibes, happy energy - even if you don´t feel it, the sunshine will pass your lips and start warming your heart.

Breathe... cry if you must, but let it go.
It´s a mistake to suppress your emotions, they´ll rot inside you and wither your soul.
Feel them... acknowledge them - and let them go.
The better you understand them, the easier they are to process.

You´re going to break often in life.
It´s okay - you can always rebuild yourself and each time that you do - you´ll come out stronger than you were before.
No resentment - no anger - just stronger.

Take care of yourself, start on your physical aspect... the rest will follow.
A woman needs to feel a woman on the outside to rebuild the woman on the inside.
I love you,
I hope that you come to me whenever life kicks you down, I will help build you up again.

I don´t always mean what I say...

Lara,

Last night you ignored me when I told you to get in the shower. You always take your time, distracted in your own world. I envy that - there was a time I had time for everything.
These days my minutes are counted... because there´s always something else to be done and I strive not to fail you.
Often I take a deep breath and do my best not to rush you - on other times, I have no other choice but to force you into movement.
I wish it wasn´t like that - I wish I had more time.
It broke my heart when you said to your father:
"Mom´s always yelling"
He immediately snapped back saying
"That´s because you´re always misbehaving"

That´s not true.
You´re a good little girl with a big imagination that wants to express herself.

Sometimes I rush you, demand more from you because I need things to run smoothly - because I need to get things done.
I keep trying to improve my mannerisms:
Be more patient
But it´s hard - I need things to get done and for that I need your collaboration.

My mom was like me - snappy.
It might not seem like sweet Grandma could ever raise her voice, but trust me when I tell you that you didn´t want to get on her bad side!
I said I wouldn´t be like her, I swore i´d be calmer, more patient...
I had no idea how much she carried on her shoulders...
How demanding it all can be...
To be a mom, a wife, a career woman... and still try to be me.
Somedays, I yell to keep myself from crying.
It´s not a reflection of you - it´s a sign of my weakness.
That´s i´m too tired to lift all of our spirits up.
I try.
Believe me I try...
Forgive me for all the times, I couldn´t.

Whatever I said that seemed mean, angry or hurtful...
I didn´t mean it.

You´re the most wonderful and perfect creation of my life!
I will always be proud of you no matter what mistakes you make.
I am your biggest fan.
I love you.

My dearest Sofias....

Yes, this blog is in english.
I know it would be easier to write in portuguese, but if you want to know me - really and truly know me, you must know me in english - it´s who I truly am.
I came to the conclusion that i´m mortal - that i´m not always going to be around to guide you.
The thought alone frightens me, it is my biggest fear.
I want to be there for every second of your life, but just in case I´m not... i´m leaving you this blog, a piece of me that will always be with you.
I´m not sure how often i´ll get to write (you two keep me very busy!), but i´ll do my best to register my thoughts here.
Remember one thing - advice is second hand knowledge powered by the experience of one human being. I might not always be right... but taking in consideration my advice, might save you from making the same mistakes.
If nothing else, I hope this blog gives you one certainty:
I love you.